The tiniest of things.

Sometimes when I feel too busy, or feel like I’ve too much on my plate, I take a step back, pray, and perhaps think about the ever-famous image of the pale blue dot. You can google it if you don't know what's that.

 “From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it's different. Consider again that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.”

- Carl Sagan, the cool astronomer guy who requested to get that photo of earth taken, who also happens to write beautifully. 

There’s a pretty dark hilarity in that excerpt and I sad-laugh a bit every time I read it. Because the truth is that we are all trying to cram the world into our hearts.

We think it’s too big, that’s why it can’t seem to fit. But the truth is that it’s too small and leaving too much of it empty.

And then I think of how the God of the entire universe cares for every person in that speck.

That he would send His son to die for me, so that I’m forever righteous, so that I can call him Daddy.

That infinite incomprehension of why the Creator of the entire universe would want to sit down and spend time to love me, a speck in a speck in a speck.

And that,

That’s what fills my heart.

The Point of Instagram.

Tiny pictures = Signs of life.

I will never fully understand the bizarre phenomenon that is social media but I suppose I like following friends and writers and artists and knowing that they’re alive and well.

And animals I like all of your animal pictures.

Can't even title this post.

Sorry yalls.

I used to wonder why people wanted to be taitais and laze their lives away.
Now I finally understand the appeal.

But yes this post is to let you know that I might skip some Mondays. I'll try to write weekly because it does indeed calm my soul but if I don't, it means I'm busy fending for my physical survival.

PS. Speaking of calming the soul, I found a box of chamomile tea in my house and almost retched at the sight of it. I hate chamomile tea it tastes like onions I don't understand why people like it or think it's a calming tea. I drank it once and it was so smelly I seriously have no doubt that they crushed onions and put them in teabags and then packaged them in boxes with pictures of flowers LIES I KNOW THEYRE ONIONS. 

And yes, I don't like onions, but just the raw ones, with the smell. Okay if you spam salad dressing on them till the smell is masked I mighttt eat it, but NO to onion tea - or so they call "chamomile tea" - where the smell is brewed to its ultimate atrocity. 

Like I am generally not a fussy eater but chamomile is seriously quite high up on my *short* list of most hated foods, coming in a close second to raw beansprouts, where no amount of sauce can ever mask its evil.

First.

YES FOLLOW BEHIND ME ALL YOU PEASANTS.

Always easier to fear.

Remember deep down in your spirit darling, where it’s realer than everything you can see:

"You’re loved, you’re loved, you’re loved."

More than you could ever imagine. 

-----

I used to not really understand why people say fear and love are opposites, and what 1 John 4:18 really meant. Because isn’t the opposite of love, hate? And isn’t the opposite of fear, boldness?

But then I realized that boldness stems from love, and hate of fear. Because “love” in this context is more of “knowing you are loved and given good gifts”, and “fear” is more of “fearing punishment and some kinda bad gift”.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross once wrote that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it's more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They're opposites. If we're in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we're in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.

Graduating officially last week let me see that I had a choice: to be in a place of fear or to be in a place of love.

Pastor always says that there is more than enough blessing to go around, it’s not like you’re losing out or shortchanged when someone else gets blessed. It’s one of the reasons that always makes me excited about doing something new. Because the economy of love never runs short of supply, and it never runs short of good gifts.


 It’s always easier to fear, but what has fear done for anyone?

Coming home.

(So I was supposed to post this last week when I came back from Sydney, but, reasons.)

Landing in Singapore after a trip is probably the only time I ever have good feelings about the humidity, because it's the first thing that hits me once I step out of the plane and I kinda associate it with the warm fuzzy feeling of coming home.

Of course, these nice feelings usually get floored the next day when I get sweaty within 10 minutes of stepping out of the shower, if I forget to turn the aircon on.


Sigh, feelings. Aren't they just so confusing.


P.S. In Primary School I used to mix "Humility" and "Humidity" up and I always wondered whether water vapour in the air had special benevolent characteristics or something.

P.P.S. Also in unrelated news, today was my first day of work and I had a great time. It was the best first day of work ever, not that I have many first days of work to compare with but yay thankfulness.

Lucky Underwear.

I cannot be the only one.