ifonlywefartflowers

ifonlywefartflowers

Sunday 3 August 2014

Toadfly.

So a couple months back, I was in my hostel room doing work alone on my desk at around 10pm. It was the last week of my stay there, and the roommate had already moved out. Suddenly I was startled by something hitting against my closet door, which had been left ajar.

I walked over to check, and THIS:
Ok the picture isn't very clear because I zoomed in from a few steps away, but I swear it was the biggest fly I’d ever seen in my life and its face looked like that a toad like one of those pond toads they sell at aquarium shops, but with wings.

Seriously it was like some kinda mutant cross between a toad and a fly.




I'm not even kidding like it was big enough to eat me up. And at that moment, I had to decide between embracing the demon, or starting a war.

I thought about how I would possibly like to spend the rest of the night..


So I grabbed a mop, because obviously that's what every soldier brings to combat.


I stood behind my door so that:
1) I could use it as a shield, and
2) There was no way the toadfly could whiz out of my cupboard and lock my door then kill me in the confines of my own room (yes ikr I was smarter than that)

After several shots at blindly stabbing the mop into the shelf, the toadfly landed on the ground in front of my cupboard and I mopped it out of the room into the corridor.





I tried to triturate the demon by crushing it under my mop for a whole minute. I shifted the mop aside after a while to check if it was well-squished and dead.









It appeared out of nowhere which was completely impossible.

I ran back into my room. The thing was invincible.

Thankfully it didn't follow me back into the room, but this meant I couldn't go back out ever again because it was too dangerous. It was probably just chilling at my doorstep waiting to devour me the minute I opened my door again. I couldn't open my door again, I just couldn't.

But at that moment,
Ok just kidding.

I'm not gonna continue with this story ever again however I'm making it into a movie soon and I will tell you the full story on film. I'll let you know when the DVD is out ya.


Ok just kidding here too. I just couldn't decide how to end this.

But then again, you'll never know. I might actually make a great toadfly movie one day.

Just you wait.

Kbye.